WeekendCoffeeShare: Valuing Small Talk

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you about the conversation I just had with my grandma. She lives in the midwest, and I haven’t seen her since my wedding almost two years ago. We chatted on the phone about the weather, what’s going on in her garden, and the family reunion that’s been planned for July. It was small talk, more or less. I’ve heard so many people bemoan small talk, but I’ve come to value it over the years. Grandma and I used to have stilted conversations over the phone, and I dreaded the awkwardness of it. But as I’ve gotten better at talking about everyday life, and asking questions, our phone calls have gotten better, which means that our relationship has gotten better. Because so much of our relationship happens over the phone, we don’t really have the luxury of silence.

That precious small talk allows me a window into my grandma’s life. I get to learn about the things she cares about, like how she saw a large rabbit in the yard, and how it likes to eat the beets, but not the carrot greens. Just because it’s small talk, and not deep talk about the state of her soul, doesn’t mean that it matters any less. Besides, during our conversation, I learned the name of her high school best friend, and that they spoke recently. I learned that my grandma is really, really excited to see my niece (her great-granddaughter) in July. And I got to show her that I love her, just by asking about her day.

So maybe small talk in a relationship is like giving water to a plant. Just how plants need sunlight and nutrients, relationships need those moments when we share our vulnerable selves. But the small talk is also important, in the right doses. Some relationships need a lot, and others only need a few drops every now and then, but it prepares the soil for the big stuff later on. I know that there are things I’d talk to my grandma about now that I couldn’t have a few years ago, and it’s partly because we’re just more familiar with each other. So maybe what matters most is figuring out how much small talk a relationship needs, and then not forgetting the sunlight and fertilizer when the time is right.

I’d love to hear about what small talk means in your life. Do you find that it leads to sweet moments, too? Or would you rather find other ways of nurturing your relationships?

Small talk or not, I hope you have a lovely weekend! xo


This post is part of the #WeekendCoffeeShare event hosted by Part-Time Monster. Check out last week’s post about Mother’s Day. 

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15 thoughts on “WeekendCoffeeShare: Valuing Small Talk

  1. I love this post and your thoughts on small talk. As a grandmother, I can tell you that we older folk sometimes dread that awkwardness, too. I hope my own grandchildren learn this lesson about small talk as they grow older. 🙂
    Thank you for the coffee, and wishing you a wonderful weekend, too!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I’m really quite shy and small talk isn’t very easy for me, but I absolutely believe our relationships require nurturing and attention, I love how you’re navigating this with your grandma! Wishing you a lovely weekend as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You should talk about your family history. What it was like for her growing up and who she remembers in the family. I wish I had my grandmother to ask all that to. I am interested in our ancestry and have no one to ask.

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    1. Thank you for the reminder! We’ve talked about some of her experiences growing up, but I do want to learn more about what other parts of her life were like.

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  4. The comment that you have gotten better at talking about everyday life and asking questions really resonated with me. So much of good conversation is asking good questions. Finding out what the other person values or is excited about and getting the conversation moving in that direction. It is so wonderful that you are maintaining this relationship with your grandma.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love this. As someone who knows that small talk is necessary, but hates the awkwardness it can have at first, I’ve come to appreciate it, especially at work and especially with customers in the check-lanes. They’re not a relationship that’s going to last past my lane, but at least I can make them feel good and warm and like someone cares about them, even for a brief few seconds.

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  6. As the age, their souls also fade away with time. Everyone should invest their time and love for their parents and grand parents. At last what we have are memories.
    I found this post so moving. I love my grand parents a lot. And I know that I always will. These small moments are lovely. Everyone should feel these moments.

    Liked by 1 person

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