Where would you live? I’m in the middle of the job search process, and I’m applying to places all over the country. It’s been both exciting and emotionally exhausting. Will I live in a city in the Midwest? A town in the desert? A village by the ocean? My life would be so different in each one, and I have little control over where I end up. I can’t help but imagine what it would be like in each place (and spend some time with Google Maps), and sometimes I get a little too in-depth. For example, one of the earliest positions I applied for was in this tiny town, and I did Street View, and it feels like I’ve been there. I imagined our house, and who we would meet, and what it would feel like to go for an evening walk down to the creek… I try not to do that anymore. It’s already hard enough getting rejections from places that I got emotionally attached to for other reasons.
At some point, I told P that I would prefer not to end up anywhere excessively humid. His response? “Kelsey, most of the country is humid.” Touche, P. And now we’ll probably end up in Florida.
There’s also the fact that I would love to be near friends and/or family. I know that it’s highly unlikely that we’ll be close to our immediate families, because it’s a region where there aren’t a lot of options for the jobs I’m qualified for. But we do have extended family and close friends all over the country. I cannot express how wonderful it would be to be near some of them.
I have to remind myself that what matters isn’t just the location, but also whether or not I’m a good fit for the position, and the community. So I’m trying to stay open. I think my prayer is that we will be somewhere with natural beauty—and that can be interpreted in many ways! May God grant me the eyes to see and heart to love whatever new (or familiar) land we go t0.
Sometimes the uncertainty really tears me up. I finally broke down the other day, and had a good cry. I’d been carrying the anxiety of not knowing where we would live after the end of June, and not knowing if we’d have jobs that we were at least looking forward to. I feel a lot better today, after spending some time in nature, talking with P, and being proactive about some of the things I do have control over, like finding our next living situation.